Archive for the ‘My Life’ Category
It was a cold Christmas and New Years’ here in Alberta with temperatures often in the -20’s. We however were comfortably ensconced at home having made a decision to have a quiet holiday season; wanting to relax, regroup and restore.
Needless to say this was not ideal dog walking weather so I stretched my imagination to keep them amused with indoor activities. Duke who is known to many of you as the neurotic chocolate lab recently turned nine and his long legs are showing the early onset of arthritis. His vet has just started him on a course of Cartrophen Vet which is of plant origin and not a steroidal anti-inflammatory. There are four shots so we will see if it helps. Mia, his 18 month old Australian Shepherd sister has no sympathy and continues to bug the hell out of him until he plays with her so he needs something!
The weather is particularly hard on the two feral cats who have adopted me or vice versa. I have my quota of indoor cats; anymore and I will be close to ‘cat lady’ status. So we built them a shelter and ensure that they receive dry bedding, regular fresh water and food. No matter how cold and hungry it is my voice that they wait for first when I go outside. When I speak to them their bodies relax and ears perk up, next they want the fresh water and then finally they eat.
Whether soothing a frightened animal, talking to a friend or writing an article it is our voice and the words that we choose that carries the message.
Blogs are all about our voice, the words that we type convey the nature and style of the blog. One of the first things I ask my clients. What do you want to achieve with your blog? Do you want to post about business, life, lifestyle, travels, writing? The range is vast so in order to stand out you have to have a clear vision and goals for your blog.
So with that in mind we have changed the look of this blog to reflect more of what we are about. Imagine that you are sitting in a café with friends discussing movies, politics, books, food and life in general. Life Deco is a blog where we aim to capture that same atmosphere. Drop by anytime all you need to bring is your favorite beverage. We hope that you will leave a comment for that will keep the conversations stimulating.
Thank you to Alanna Morley of Alanna Inc for designing the Life Deco blog.
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If there is an upside to having Atrial Fibrillation it is that you don’t just jump out of bed in the morning. You get up slowly so that your heart finds its day rhythm and the blood starts moving to all the right areas of your body.
Once up its dress, leash dogs and out the door. I keep my brain in a comfortable neutral only allowing certain thoughts in. Not those meaning of life ones that I probably should have instead I muse on the creative side of my business; finding the right words for an article, website touch-up ideas or fresh business concepts. Like so many entrepreneurs it is hard finding the time to create instead of running a business so 5:15am…ish is that time .
The energy is different when Chris comes with us; he is one of those people who gets up with his all his mental stuff front and centre. While I don’t mind Duke’s and Mia’s lingering sniffs over blades of grass mixed with multiple bathroom stops he is impatient to keep moving. Their excitement over every smell, sight and sound enhances my own awareness of the awakening day.
At that early hour we only share the streets with fellow dog walkers, a few joggers and runners. Some are withdrawn, huddled into their jackets and thoughts, others merely nod. It is usually the dog people who call out a cheery hello.
Then it’s home, make coffee and shower while channel surfing between The Today Show, a Calgary Breakfast Show and the BBC because I like their international news and knowing what kind of weather people in Hong Kong and Palermo are walking their dog in.
When it comes to how we live with our furniture Chris and I are definitely at different ends of the lifestyle spectrum
He comes from the ancestry where the front room is for guests only and the good china is saved for special occasions; while my descendants were more the “Oh, dear the new puppy just chewed one the legs of the 18th century Hepplewhite mahogany dining table.”
As I am responsible for the care and feeding of the furniture we live in the relax and appreciate it environment. If you are a guest I’ll round up the dust bunnies but all in all you take the house as you find it. And don’t get me started on the concept of preserving something so that we can pass it on after we have died. I enjoy living with and using nice things; so after I have gone whomever can decide to keep it or put it in a garage sale but rest assured every scratch, dent and scuff will have a story or memory behind it.
Unfortunately though a mahogany dining table doesn’t fit in with our habits; as we eat, talk, laugh, plan and sometimes argue around this focal feature in the house. Instead we have a big Pier One table with a glass top. A squirt of Windex and it is ready to go for the next round of bill paying, newspaper reading, me on my laptop, deep discussion, wine drinking while dinner cooks and yes, actually eating a meal.
Our home is also a reflection of eclectic tastes; old with new, expensive with not so much. I love to mix things up; to position an ultra modern chocolate coloured couch in between two turn of the century tables. According to many interior designers an eclectic look is rarely done well and should not be attempted. I don’t listen to them either.
This past weekend was the 40th anniversary of Woodstock and my Saturday morning tweet read - This Sat 40 years ago I was 15 and driving through Cape Cod with parents listening to Woodstock news reports on car radio.
It only took that 123 character post and the fact that it was a grey and rainy Saturday to leave me with a mantle of sadness; as my mind went back to the August weekend in one of my favorite places, shared with two people that I still miss today. Unlike many writers who like to present themselves as having risen from the dregs of dreadful childhoods, I had a good relationship with my parents. On the surface they may have been stereotypical of the distant English parents; in private they were supportive and loving giving me little fodder for even a mild case of teenage angst.
That evening Chris and I ate pasta, drank wine and caught up on the conversations that we didn’t have time for in the week. We then watched the movie Defiance. I had originally wanted to rent it because it starred Daniel Craig, who is on my short list of men I would have an affair with but the story proved to be so much more than I expected.
It is a World War II movie that looks at the Holocaust from a unique perspective. Telling the true story of a group of Jews in Eastern Europe who fought back from there home deep in the forest and the Bielski brothers who led them. While not a perfect movie the story itself is remarkable.
Saturday ended with me thinking that the type of person we become is not only the result of the family we are born into but also the time in history. For me is was about being a teenager growing up in the sixties. One thing I realized is that I want to start having the right conversations and asking the pertinent questions. From the hindsight of the person that I am today what talks I would have with my parents!
Relationships must be so much more than mere everyday words. Remember that a really sick friend is not just her disease; part of her still wants to talk about clothes, grumble about her husband and laugh over the funny parts of 30 Rock. Realizing that a grumpy co-worker or colleague might be troubled by something in her life and responding accordingly. It’s about asking parents and grandparents to share the early years of their lives and seeing how they intertwined with the events of the time.
And ultimately never forgetting that everyone has a story.
We have made the decision to take a week off in August but not go away. A list of day trips to take, new restaurants to try, movies to see, gives our staycation the facade of a good idea. But I am wondering how will this really play out? It seems inevitable that already some home improvement projects are writing themselves onto the list.
As a Life Coach I have learned how to manage having an office at home. I balance in-office clients with remote coaching by using virtually any available media at my disposal. And I like the added benefit that I can sometimes squeeze in a few minutes of The View’s Hot Topics between morning sessions. Although I will take the usual steps to close my practice for that week I am somewhat leary of the fact that my work will be surrounding me in some form or other.
Then there is a bigger picture, that I don’t particularly care for where we live. I am most myself on a bustling city street or by the ocean and the fact that for now I call a rather rural part of Alberta home is difficult for me at the best of times.
I grew up a city girl; the art of hailing taxis and reading French menus was learned at young age. I know the secret of finding community & friends in your own corner of London, Brussels or Toronto. I thrive in the world of bistros, museums & the theater, city parks at lunch time and knowing when & where the best bargains are in otherwise expensive stores.
Living among all these flat fields feels well, claustrophobic. A vacation should include walks by the sea; that takes me into my own personal nirvana. Therefore the sensible decision to stay home this year is also compounding my personal frustration that by midlife I would be living in a place which truly felt like home.
I know that a better attitude might allow for some modicum of success. Somehow though my psyche and midlife soul are just not feeling this turn of events. I don’t believe that a staycation can offer what a vacation does, I’ll let you know.
In an O magazine article Looking for Stillness author (Riding In Cars With Boys), Beverly Donofrio goes monastery-hopping (her words) and she discovers ‘peace, clarity, connection, grace and a kind of hush’. At the end of the article she returns to the Nada Hermitage in Colorado “Where you can hear your own bare feet on the floor”.
When was the last time you heard your own bare feet on the floor?
If you are anything like me noise is embedded into your life. I get up, turn on the news so that I can hear what has transpired in the world while I slept. Feed excited and hungry dogs/cats, water runs, the coffee pot beeps to let me know when the coffee is ready, the toaster dings, my computer says “Good morning, Jill”, a phone rings and the day is underway.
As the hours progress my heels will click on busy pavement or loafers connect with my office’s hardwood but somehow I missed that moment when my bare feet quietly set my life in motion.
….. a new book from a favourite author
….. the effortless ritual of making tea
….. old, comfy slippers on a cold winters’ morning
….. that bowl of pasta or home made soup when your soul is world weary
We all need those things that are comforting to us; they provide consistency and calmness in what can often be an overly stimulating existence.
Time spent with old friends is one of the ultimates in social comforts. This past weekend we met up with just such friends in Banff to celebrate husband’s birthday. The familiarity of knowing each others lives, the flow of easy conversation and laughter were truly relaxing.
And sometimes comfort is only meant to be with us for a specific interval. Many years ago we bought a house in BC. While my girlfriend and I were sitting outside, taking a break from the pre-move cleaning this rather scruffy, wild looking young black cat emerged from the field behind the house. He was wary but hungry and the only thing that we had with us was water and a box of Ritz crackers. With time the newly named Ritz allowed himself to become a house cat. He grew into a sleek and handsome adult with a sweet and uncomplicated nature. Sadly, 14 years later we have just put this beautiful boy to sleep. Old age, liver problems and a tumour under his neck all caught up with him.
His spirit is again free to roam the fields. However in the evening I miss his restful presence curled up on my lap until I go to bed.
We all occasionally day dream about what life would be like if aunt Bertha (the aunt we never knew we had) passed away and left us a small fortune. My own dream takes the shape of travel, work and learning.
After touring some of the world’s best wineries, a week at a fabulous Spa, the train trip through England, Scotland & Ireland and shopping in Hong Kong; I would move to a town with a really good university and take courses in political science, international relations, women’s studies. While absorbing all this new knowledge I would work on expanding my coaching practice & online magazine because for me that all speaks to a life well lead.
In the meantime until Aunt Berta does pass way I have found some websites that provide online university lectures. I am currently working my way through the ones from the Harvard School of Business.
